Often in the personal development world we talk about accepting our circumstances, our situation, and of course ourselves. In the past, in my old form of coaching I have also told my clients on many occasions that they need to have some self-acceptance before they can accept other people or the situations. The common wisdom is that acceptance helps you ‘move on’ and get new perspective about whatever was going on.
Acceptance is just another label for some fresh thought….
We simply need to realise that we, as humans, are designed to self-correct, with no effort on our part. At all. So when you feel low or ‘bad’ and think ‘I need to accept x, y or z’ , that almost adds to problem. As well as feeling bad and getting tangled in your thinking, you are also adding in ‘I must accept it’. This certainly won’t help and it is counter intuitive, as you are adding another thinking layer into the thing you need less thinking about. Instead? We can just let it pass and connect with our innate realisation about how thought actually works and the ‘inside out’ nature of the system…. ……‘Inside out’ nature of the system? Which in a nutshell is that a) that here is never a cause-and-effect relationship between your circumstances and your feelings – your circumstance do not determine how you feel however it might appear to correlate and b) that we all innately have access to an intelligence in the human system that is self-correcting, if we get out of the way of it. That’s why trying to do something about what is going on either in the outside world of circumstance or even in your thinking doesn’t work very well. Our feelings come from our thinking, and our thinking varies moment to moment, and if we truly understand this and let it self-correct, we don’t need to add additional layers of thought in about acceptance or anything similar. Ok you might be saying, I get that, then how do we get fresh thinking, what is the technique, mantra or practice for that? Well the good news and the bad news, there isn’t one. As any prescription of how to create something that happens through the deeper intelligence of the human system is likely to get in the way of it. So are there some conditions that we can manufacture to help it along? Possibly…as long as we don’t have much personal thinking about them, and they come from our wisdom in the moment. For the really exploration into this questions drop me a line and we can chat more about it…..